I'm A BensonCabot
by LilBenson2004
Summary: Sequel to 'My Way'. Olivia, Alex and their daughter during their many adventures. Some adventures are good, others are not.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Here is the promised sequel... I know I posted this once but I changed Garrett's name to Chayse because I like the name and I thought Olivia and Alex would change their 'daughters' full name to get completely rid of her past. So here is the repost of the first two chapters... I don't own anything from Law and Order: SVU!  
**

Preface

Okay, so I promised you guys I'd come back and tell you more about my life with Liv and Alex. It's been a crazy ride! Not everything has been the greatest but we've all fallen into our respective roles. After a month of living with both of them I've fallen into calling them 'mom' and 'ma'. It started out with me just calling Alex 'mom' because I was so used to calling Liv 'Liv' but then after awhile I began calling her 'ma' more and more. So here is the second instillation of my life with my mom and ma. This is what it's like to be a Benson-Cabot.


	2. Chapter 2

Moving?

We've been back from California for a month and Ma is being WAY overprotective. We had both fully moved into Mom's apartment and everyone had their own space. It was nice. Mom and Ma shared a room and we had a guest room. Mom and I decorated my room. Life seemed good.

Then out of the blue Ma decides that she doesn't want me living in the city. Mom had just gotten a promotion to bureau chief. Liv decided that we would all be safer upstate. So with Mom's signing bonus and part of her trust she bought a brownstone upstate. Now granted I'm excited about living upstate but I also find it a completely useless move because now they are going to have a farther drive to work and to pick me up from school. So Mom and Ma found the brownstone and then told me about the idea.

"Chayse! We need to speak with you!" Ma yelled up the stairs.

"Yea?" I asked. I came to the top of the stairs and stopped. I was in the middle of straightening my hair for Christmas the next day. Ma signaled for me to come down the stairs and I did even though I wasn't happy about stopping my progress.

"Mom and I would like to speak to you." It took all I had not to roll my eyes. Ever since I had started calling them 'mom' and 'ma' they took to calling each other that when they were talking to me.

"Okay?" I looked between both of them as I sat down in the chair and Ma sat down next to Mom on the couch.

"Well Chayse, as you know, I've just gotten a new position and with the extra money that I'll be making plus with part of my trust fund your Ma and I have decided that we need a break from the city… We've bought a brownstone in upstate!" I just looked between them and then shrugged my shoulders.

"Okay, so when do we move?" I could tell by the looks they were giving me they didn't get the excitement they were hoping for. I sat in the chair with my arms crossed waiting for one for one of them to answer.

"Well, since you're on Christmas break we thought we'd start packing up the day after tomorrow… Are you happy?" I shrugged my shoulders again.

"We moved a lot when I was younger… I'm used to it… Do I get to decorate my room?" Mom and Ma both nodded. I nodded my head and smiled.

"So, you are okay with this?" I had to stifle a laugh. Leave it to Ma to be excited about the idea and then ask me a million times if I was okay with it.

"Yes Ma, its fine." I stood up and walked over to the couch. I leaned over and kissed her cheek before kissing Mom's cheek and heading back upstairs to finish my hair. I was excited about moving and getting a fresh start with both of them.

I finished straightening my hair and then went into my room. I looked around at all the stuff that would have to be boxed back up. Since we had just gotten back from LA a month ago I had just finished unpacking all the stuff we had shipped back to New York. I shook my head and then left my room and headed downstairs. The mothers were sitting on the couch talking. I walked up and flopped down in the chair. It took them both a minute to notice that I was there.

"I just think that…" Ma stopped talking when Mom noticed I was sitting there. She pointed to me and I waved and fake smiled.

"Talking about me?" Ma shook her head but I could tell she was lying.

"We were just discussing some things… So are you excited about tomorrow?" I shrugged my shoulders. I had never really celebrated Christmas. When I was really young and Ma lived with us my mom lied and said we were Jewish. Then once we'd moved my mom would just tell me I wasn't good enough to celebrate Christmas.

"Sure, I don't know… It'll be a whole new experience." Ma nodded and then came and sat down next to me in the chair. She put her arm around my shoulder and I laid my head on her shoulder. Mom smiled before grabbing the camera she always seemed to have around and snapped a picture. I swore I was going to have to go through the whole house and remove all the cameras before we moved. Ma agreed with me.

We sat there for awhile until Ma's stomach growled. Followed closely by Mom's and mine. We all laughed and then Mom got up to go see what we had to make for dinner. Ma and I just sat there until she moved from the chair to the coffee table.

"I know you're tired of hearing it and that it's not technically my fault but I'm sorry that you went through what you did." I rolled my eyes and sat forward so we were almost forehead to forehead.

"Ma… I know you feel like you let me down but you didn't. You saved me when you found out I was in trouble… I can't ask for much more. Yes, I don't know what Christmas is like but now you and mom will get to show me the experience the right way." Ma nodded my head and then sat up and kissed my forehead. She stood up and held out her hands. I grabbed them and she pulled me out of the chair. We went into the kitchen to find mom searching through the cabinets.

"We have no food!" Ma and I laughed. This was a normal occurrence because Ma couldn't cook and well I didn't even try. We did however now how to dial for takeout and order in point 10 seconds flat.

"That's nothing new… Why don't we order takeout? I'm thinking Chinese." Ma nodded in agreement and slung her arm over my shoulder. Mom finally agreed and ordered the food. Ma ran upstairs to shower and put on comfy clothes while Mom and I sat chilled on the couch. Ma had just gotten home from work right before she called me downstairs. Mom had been home with me all day because heaven forbid I be allowed to stay alone.

"Your hair looks good… What exactly did you do to it?" Mom asked as she messed with a piece that was hanging in my face.

"I straightened it. I used that 'gizmo' you bought me to pull the curl out of my hair." Mom nodded and then looked over at the stairs. Ma was coming downstairs drying her hair with a towel. She took the towel to the laundry room and walked back out pulling her hair into a pony tail.

Mom didn't seem to understand how a straightener worked. She just called it a 'gizmo' whenever I used it. Ma used one too but not as often as I did. Ma pushed my legs off the couch and sat down next to me. I kicked my legs back onto the couch and rested them on her lap.

"Do I look like a foot stool?" I nodded my head and Mom started laughing.

"A little… My legs were there first." I stuck my tongue out at her and used my arms as a shield as a pillow came flying at me.

Ma pushed my legs off her again and I tried to kick them back up but she grabbed my ankles with her hands. I sat up some and turned so I was facing forward. Before I'd been leaning on Mom. I sank down into the couch a little and kicked my feet up on the coffee table. I crossed my arms and leaned towards Ma. My head was resting on her arm. Mom got up and went upstairs to take a shower.

We both sat in silence. I stared at the fish in the tank that Ma had bought when we first moved in with Mom. Ma was staring at the wall. Ma got up when the doorbell rang. She paid the Chinese guy and then headed into the kitchen. I waited a few seconds before following her. Mom met me in the doorway. She was just coming downstairs. Everyone made a plate and then we went and sat down at the table. We all ate in silence.

When I was finished eating I left the table and took my stuff to the kitchen. I heard Ma's cell phone ring and rolled my eyes. She was going to work again. I set everything down in the sink and then went back out into the dining area. Ma and Mom were still sitting at the table. Neither one was eating. Both plates were empty. They were both just staring at them. Ma was off the phone but it was sitting next to her. I took her plate and Mom's. I put them in the kitchen and then left and headed for the stairs. Ma was on her way up stairs, I ran up the bottom ones to catch up with her.

"When will you be home?" Ma looked at me confused.

"What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere." Now it was my turn to look confused. It had been her work ringtone. I was sure there was a case.

"I thought you had to go to work." Ma shook her head and I let out the breath I had been holding.

"It was just Elliot confirming the plans for tomorrow…" I nodded my head and then headed to my room.

I walked in and turned to watch Ma walk into her room. I shut my door and locked it. I had presents to finish wrapping. I pulled out the last few presents and began wrapping them. Once I was done I carried them all downstairs and laid them under the tree. Mom was positioning presents in our stockings. Ma came down with an armful of presents and laid them under the tree.

"That's a lot of presents," I said. I sat down on the couch and Ma pushed me forward and then sat down behind me so I was leaning on her. I leaned back and she ran her fingers through my hair. The oil from her skin was going to make it recurl but I didn't care. I'd fix it again the next day. Mom came and picked up my feet. She sat down and then repositioned my feet on her lap. We all stared at the Christmas tree.

I'd never admit this to anyone but I was excited about celebrating Christmas. I knew what it meant to celebrate but never got to get excited about getting presents. Ma and Mom had no idea how excited. I'd managed to play it down but if I had been in LA at this point in time it would probably be in the ground. I was really beginning to fear for my life. I thanked God most days for being able to be here with them and not back in LA.

"Mom let's me put my feet on her," I said after I couldn't take the silence anymore. Ma hit me in the arm and then hugged me from behind.

"Smarty pants! She must have no sense of smell." I looked back at her and then started pouting.

"My feet don't stink! You are just a meanie!" Mom and Ma laughed. Ma always found moments like these to be funny. She also found them to be like old times. I stood up and then moved over to the chair. I sat down cross legged and then crossed my arms. I was going into full pout mode.

"Here she goes… It still doesn't work," Ma said. She got up off the couch and walked into the kitchen. She kissed the top of my head as she walked by. I pulled away from her and gave her a half glare. Mom was still sitting on the couch trying not to laugh.

"You know it never works, right?" I nodded my head and dropped the pout. I sat back in the chair and watched over my head for Ma to come back.

Ma came walking back in with three mugs of hot chocolate. She handed me one and I leaned forward to set it on the coffee table. Mom and Ma both looked at me like I was crazy.

"You don't like hot chocolate?" I rolled my eyes and sat back in the chair.

"I'm allergic to chocolate… It would kill me if I drank it." Ma smacked her forehead and then ran her hand down her face.

"I'm sorry… I forgot." I shrugged my shoulders and went back to watching out the window.

"It's cool… Just no kissing me until you've washed your lips. Just having contact with it will set me off." Ma and Mom nodded their heads. Mom leaned against Ma. It was nice seeing them having a moment. Most of the time they were either both working or one of them was with me. I felt bad that they didn't get alone time but both had assured me that they didn't care.

"So Squirrel, is there anything special you want to do tomorrow?" I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't know. It was my first Christmas and I was excited about it but there wasn't anything special I wanted to do.

"Not really, just want to have a good day!" The mom's nodded their heads. I sunk down in the chair and tried to stifle a yawn.

"Looks like someone is tired," Mom said. I shook my head but couldn't help but yawn again.

"A little… I guess I'm gonna go to bed. Night!" I got up and headed upstairs.

"I'll be up to say goodnight once I finish my hot chocolate," Ma said. I nodded my head at the top of the stairs. I went into my room and lay down on my bed. I curled up with 'Wivia' and waited for the mom's to come up. I must have fallen asleep before the mom's came up because I don't remember saying goodnight to them.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update. Been crazy times! Anyway, here is the next chapter. Hope you enjoy! I don't own anything but my own!**

My First Christmas!

I was awoken the next morning when someone nudged my shoulder. I rolled over and opened one eye. Ma was standing above me wearing a red Santa hat and smiling like a crazy person. I one eye glared at her and then rolled back over and closed both eyes. Ma nudged me again and I growled at her. I rolled over on my back and opened my eyes. Ma was still smiling at me like a crazy person.

"I don't know whether to scream because you're crazy or laugh because you look crazy." Ma pushed me and sat down next to me.

"Smarty pants! It's Christmas! Time to get up." I rolled my eyes and looked over at my alarm clock. It was flashing 7:30am.

"It's too early to open presents. Can't I sleep until 9?" Ma shook her head and made the hat jingle.

"Mom is waiting downstairs." I rolled my eyes and sat up. Ma slid off my bed and held out her hand. I took her head and she pulled me up before pulling me into a hug. We headed downstairs and Mom was sleeping on the couch. I walked over and curled up next to her. I laid my head on her leg and closed my eyes. Ma was in the kitchen making coffee for her and Mom. They wouldn't allow me to drink coffee on a regular basis because caffeine wasn't good for me.

Ma came into the room and shook Mom awake. I sat up when she shook her leg. Ma handed Mom a cup of coffee and then grabbed our stockings. She handed me my stocking and then Mom hers. I slid onto the floor and dumped the contents of my stocking onto the coffee table. Mom and Ma did the same. I had gotten some non-chocolate candy, a CD and a DVD. I looked at what they had gotten and realized that Ma must have given me all the non-chocolate candy and put the chocolate my stocking into hers and mom's.

"I wanted this CD!" I read the back of the Pink CD the mom's had gotten me.

"That's what Lizzie said when I asked her," Ma said. I rolled my eyes and laughed. I should have known the mom's didn't pick it out on their own.

Mom got up and began handing out presents. We all opened the presents and then I began stock piling what I got. The mom's had gotten me some new clothes, a few more CDs and DVDs and a new IPod. Mine had broken sometime the week before and I was very depressed. They also got me an ornament, a new pair of shoes and a surprise that I couldn't open until later.

Ma got some jewelry and a picture of the three of us that Elliot had taken. It was just after thanksgiving and an unusually warm day. The Stablers' had invited us to go to the park with them and play touch football. We all thought it would be fun so we went. Elliot took the picture when Ma's team was about to lose and she grabbed me to stop me from getting another touchdown. Instead of taking the flag from me she grabbed my waist to pull me down. Mom who was on my team had a hold of Ma and was trying to get her let go. Elliot snapped the picture as we were all falling because Ma couldn't keep her balance.

Mom had gotten some jewelry too and also a picture of the three of us. I had also gotten her a scrapbooking kit because she was always taking photos. The picture mom had been one that Fin had taken at my birthday party. It was of the three of us sitting together. I was sitting on Ma's lap and Mom was leaning on her. It was the first picture of the three of us.

"Thanks for the pictures… Where did you get them?" Ma asked. She moved from the chair to sit next to Mom on the couch.

"I cannot reveal my sources… Even though Elliot and Fin do take good pictures." I laughed. Ma and Mom laughed with me and I moved to sit in between them. Ma moved over so I could fit. I stared at the pile of stuff in front of me and thought about how it would all had to be packed up. Ma must have noticed the change in my face because she scooted closer to me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"Penny for your thoughts," Ma said. I looked at her and shook my head.

"My thoughts are worth at least fifty cent." Mom laughed and Ma pushed her. Ma then stared at me to answer. When I didn't she reached for her wallet on the end table and handed me a five dollar bill.

"Here, I have no change so the next nine are free." I rolled my eyes and took the money.

"I was just thinking about how we were going to have to pack all this stuff up… I just finished unpacking my room. Couldn't you have decided to move before I unpacked?" The mom's burst out laughing. Ma gave me a side hug before Mom hugged me.

"We are sorry… Next time we'll give you two weeks' notice." I nodded my head before sliding off the couch and grabbing my stuff. I carried it up to my room so I could change. I changed my clothes and then began putting my new stuff away. Before tossing all the new clothes in the hamper to be washed I walked out of my room to the top of the stairs.

"Hey Ma, did you wash all the new clothes before wrapping them?" I yelled. Ma appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

"No but if you toss them down I will throw them in." I nodded my head and went back into the room. I grabbed them all and carried them to the laundry chute. I tossed them all down and then went back to the top of the stairs.

"Thanks Ma!" I yelled before I went back into my room. I finished putting away my new CDs. The mom's had not only gotten me a Pink CD but also two Martina McBride CDs, a Sheryl Crow CD and a compilation CD that had the Grammy hits from last year on it. I grabbed the DVDs I had gotten and took them down to the study. I stuck them in with Mom's DVDs. I also hooked my IPod up to Ma's laptop so I could download my music to it.

Mom came walking while I was working on it. She sat down behind her desk and just watched me. I finished picking out playlists and then stood up to let it download and charge. I walked over and hopped up on Mom's desk.

"Hey, are you having a good day so far?" Mom asked. I nodded my head.

"Yes ma'am… Everything has been great…" Mom leaned forward and laid her hand on top of mine.

"I feel a 'but' coming on." I shrugged my shoulders and stared down at my feet. I was running around without socks on again. Ma was going to have a conniption.

"I don't know… I feel bad because I'm not sad that my mom's not here… I mean my old mom. I just feel like I'm supposed to be more upset and not so happy to be where I am." Mom scooted so she was directly in front of me. She bent over so I had to make eye contact with her.

"Chayse, you have nothing to feel bad about… I know you loved your mom but she made her choices and you couldn't stop her… I'm not saying your feelings aren't justified but you are doing nothing wrong." I nodded my head and she hugged me. She scooted back so I could hop off the desk.

"Thanks… By the way you are a way better mom than she ever was," I said as I walked out of the office. I sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV. Ma was upstairs in the shower; I could hear the water running. I flipped through the channels but when nothing was on I turned the TV back off.

I stared at the window. I missed my mom sometimes. Mom and Ma were great but sometimes there was that rare memory of when she was actually really great and it's those times that I miss. I feel like I'm doing something wrong because I accepted Ma and Mom's help. I replaced her with them. Except for their nothing like her because they love me unconditionally 100% of the time no matter what my past is, or at least that's what they say. I knew my mom could never say that to me. She never loved me 100% of the time. At least she never told me. I keep wondering if this makes me a bad person.

I was lost in thought when Ma tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped and looked over at her. She smiled at me and I half smiled back. She sat down next to me and held out her hand. She was holding another five.

"I was thinking about my mom… my old one," I said. I folded her hand closed with the five still in it.

"What about her?" I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the window.

"I was just thinking about how I'm a horrible daughter because I let you guys replace her. I love being here with you more than I liked being with her. I feel like I'm always doing something wrong. I feel like I'm eventually going to be punished because I just let Miranda be forgotten. I let my past go… Does that make me a horrible person?" I whispered out the last part but I knew Ma could hear me. She had already pulled me closer to her. She kissed the side of my head and I leaned onto her shoulder. I wiped away the tear that threatened to fall.

"You are NOT a bad person. Do you hear me? No one has forgotten your mom… I know you will always love her and I'm happy about that. Chayse, I know more about what you went through than you realize…"

"When you lived with Grandma Benson?" Ma pulled back a little and looked at me shocked. I'd known Serena Benson before we moved and she was weird. She scared me but as I got older my mom told me stories about Ma's past. Miranda had always kept up on Ma's life. We knew that Serena had died and everything. Miranda had told me stories from when Ma was little.

"Yes, she wasn't the greatest mom either. I loved her and hated her all at once. I was devastated when she died but I was also slightly relieved… I'm glad we were able to put your past behind you but we only want you to move on from the bad memories not the good ones. Keep the good memories with you. Cherish them… If it was anything like my life they were few and far between… Always remember you are not a horrible person. You're a sweet kid who got the bad end of the deal but is trying to make it better. Hopefully we'll be able to." Ma kissed the top of my head and then rested her head on mine. I wrapped my arms around her and she hugged me back.

Ma and I sat there until Mom came out and told us was time to go. She didn't know what we were talking about but she knew it wasn't good because we both had red eyes when we pulled apart.

"You two okay?" Mom asked. I nodded my head and then walked over and gave her a hug.

"Thank you for helping me." Mom hugged me back and kissed the top of my head. She looked at Ma and Ma was wiping her eyes.

"You're welcome… I love you, kid. I just want you to be happy." I nodded my head again and then went upstairs to grab my shoes.

When I came back down Ma and Mom were standing by the door in their coats. They must have talked because I was getting that 'poor kid' look from both of them. I walked over and Ma handed me my coat. I put it on and we left the apartment for the 1-6.

We got to the 1-6 and it was decorated in lights. We headed up to the floor Ma worked on and walked through the double doors into a winter wonderland. They had sprinkled fake snow around the floor. I guess it was making up for us not having real snow. Everyone was already there. They had set up a food table in the corner which was where Mom headed with the food she'd made. Ma and I went over and tossed our coats on her desk. They had pushed all the desks to one side. There were a few tables set up for people to eat at and an area for people to dance. They'd even brought in a bar to have someone serve drinks from. A DJ was playing music made it the perfect Christmas party.

I sat down in Ma's chair and watched as people mingled with each other. I was excited to be there but still felt bad because of my mom. I wanted to enjoy today but my head was making it hard because it was making me feel crappy. Elliot came over and sat down on Ma's desk. I looked up at him and he smiled at me.

"Hey Kid, how's your first Christmas?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Okay, I miss my mom." Elliot looked at me confused. He pointed to Mom.

"She's right over there. You want me to get her for you." I shook my head and stared at Mom laughing with Cragen.

"I meant my old mom. Miranda…" Elliot nodded in understanding.

"Got it… did you tell Liv and Alex?" I nodded my head. I scanned the room for Ma and found her talking with Munch and Fin.

"Yea, I told them both… Do you think I'm a bad person because I let them replace her?" Elliot looked at me and shook his head.

"No way, you are far from being a bad person. The people we put away are bad… You are a kid who got stuck in a crappy situation and now you are trying to make that situation better and Liv and Alex want to help. Everyone knows you still love your mom. I would never think you're a bad person." I nodded my head and stood up. I gave Elliot a hug and he kissed my cheek.

"Thanks Elliot, no wonder Ma talks to you when she's feeling down… You give some good advice." Elliot hugged me again and we both went to talk to people.

I walked over to Mom and Cragen. Cragen pulled me into a hug and then pulled a card out of his jacket pocket. He handed it to me and I opened it inside was a $100 gift card to one of my favorite stores. I hugged him again and then tucked the card into my pocket.

"Merry Christmas, sweetheart. You're like a granddaughter to me and grandpa's get to spoil their grandchildren. You are totally worth that money." I hugged him one last time.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'm gonna have so much fun spending this!" Mom laughed as she watched. Everyone was staring at us. Ma came over to see what the excitement was about.

"What are you going to have fun spending?" I pulled the gift card out of my back pocket and handed it to her. She looked at it with a shocked expression before tucking it into her own pocket.

"Hey thief, give it back!" Ma held up her hand to stop me from reaching into her pocket.

"I'll keep a hold of it… Besides Cap'n it's really too much money for one girl… Maybe we should split the card up for Elliot's daughters." I crossed my arms and glared at Ma. Cragen shook his head and I smiled at him.

"I already gave Elliot their gift cards. That's all for the kid… Just spend it on something good." I nodded my head and smiled at Ma. She rolled her eyes and then pulled me away from them. She pulled me over to Fin and Munch. I gave both of them a hug and they each handed me a gift. So far this party was great. I'd gotten gifts from everyone but Elliot.

"Thanks!" I opened the gifts to find two more gift cards from each of them. Munch's was being held by a stuffed bear with a Santa hat on and Fin's was taped to a Jay-Z CD. I smiled at Fin knowing why he had bought me the CD. Ma groaned and took the CD to see what songs were on it. My favorite song, 'Empire State of Mind' was on it. Mom hated that song but Ma and I loved it. She knew I'd annoy Mom with it before she'd have to take away my IPod and delete it.

"No problem, Kid. Just make sure not to annoy the adults with it." I rolled my eyes but Ma gave Fin a hug thanks. I hugged Fin and Munch once more before going back over and sitting at Ma's desk.

I set everything on Ma's desk and watched as the squad interacted. It was understandable why they all got along so well. They were perfect for each other. Cragen was the father figure, Munch the crazy uncle, Fin and Elliot were the brothers, and Ma and Mom were the daughters/ sisters that everyone wants to protect but also knows that they can handle themselves. I was the granddaughter/ niece/ daughter. I had never been part of such a close family. It felt good but was also scary because I was afraid that once people got to know me better they wouldn't want me around.

I watched everyone mingle with each other. Melinda had shown up and a couple of other people I didn't know. I was busy watching everyone I didn't notice Elliot sneak up behind me. I was standing by Ma's desk getting ready to go get something to eat when he kissed my cheek. I spun around and kicked him before thinking about it. I landed my foot in his no-no zone. Elliot went down and I covered my mouth with my hands. I was partly trying not to laugh and partly trying not be embarrassed. Everyone looked over and Elliot let out a groan. I turned around and looked at everyone before taking off for the stairs to the cribs. Ma was hot on my heels. I could hear her following me up the steps. I went into the cribs and sat down on one of the cots.

I was sitting with my face buried in my hands when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and busted out laughing when I saw Ma standing there. She was trying not to laugh. She eventually lost her battle and sat down next to me laughing. I wiped my eyes and she wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to kick him. He just snuck up behind me and…" Ma nodded her head. She understood because she was the one who taught me to kick men in the no-no zone.

"You kicked him," Ma supplied finishing my statement. I nodded my head and had to hold my breath to not laugh again.

"Then when everyone looked at me I felt embarrassed so I came up here." Ma nodded her head again.

"You shouldn't be embarrassed… You're a little more jumpy than other people but that's a good thing in my book. You air on the side of caution." I nodded my head as I laid it on her shoulder.

"I still feel bad though." Ma stood up and then held her hand out to me. I took it and she pulled me up before pulling me into a hug.

"Then I'm feeling a need for you to apologize." I rolled my eyes but nodded my head.

Ma and I went back down to the party and I apologized to Elliot. He apologized for scaring me and said he should have realized I would be more jumpy. He also gave me my present. I opened it and inside was a California Lakers jersey. I laughed as he rolled his eyes. We'd been arguing over which the best team was. I was right but he would never admit that. I hugged him and then went to get some food with Ma.

We all partied the night away. Everyone had a good time but I grew tired after dancing with Fin and Elliot. I curled up in Ma's chair while her and Mom kept dancing with everyone. Ma eventually woke me up saying it was time to go. I nodded my head but didn't move.

"Come on, Squirrel! It's time to go home." Ma tried to pull me off the chair but I held on. I hated being woken up.

"Leave me alone! I'm sleeeeping!" Ma pulled my arm again and I fell off the chair. She caught me before I fell completely. I leaned on her and she led me to the car. When we got home I stumbled into the house. I went up to my room and fell into bed. I was smiling to myself as I thought about the day I had. Even though I was way beyond tired I couldn't stop thinking about how my first Christmas was perfect!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey readers, Sorry it's been so long. Been busy with school and work and had some writers block. Anyway, here is the newest chapter and i will have another to follow. **

School Drama

So we've moved into the new house and it's amazing. Mom and I painted and decorated my room the weekend after we moved in. The walls are a dark gray with purple lines and then the wall with my bed on it is painted purple. We hung up some black and white pictures that we found and this really cool map of the US made out of license plates. Ma and I found a really pretty gray and purple comforter and a purple rug. We also found some purple and orange decorations because they are my two favorite colors. I love it!

Anyway, today is the first day of school and I'm not looking forward to it. I'd only been in my other school for two weeks before we were out for Christmas vacation. Now I was starting a whole new school because we moved. Who am I to argue though?

I got up around 5:45 and headed into my new en-suite bathroom. I showered and got dressed. I didn't have to leave for school until 7:45 because it was only 15 minutes away walking but Ma and Mom were going to drop me off. I had butterflies in my stomach. I wasn't the most confident person and worried I wouldn't make any friends.

I headed downstairs after putting my socks on and grabbing my shoes. My bag was already by the door. Ma was sitting at the table drinking coffee and reading the paper she was still in her PJs. I dropped my shoes by the stairs and she jumped.

"Morning baby, what are you doing up so early?" I shrugged my shoulders and as I sat down next to her.

"Couldn't sleep. First day of school jitters. You would think after having been in 13 different schools I'd be used to it by now." I laid my forehead on the table. Ma leaned over and kissed the top of my head before getting up with her coffee.

"Well since you're up, what kind of pancakes do you want for breakfast?" I shrugged but didn't look up.

"I'm not hungry." I could feel Ma staring me down. I looked up and she was giving me that 'pick something' look.

"You need something in your stomach to help you get through the day." I laid my head back down and closed my eyes.

"Cereal is fine. No need to make pancakes." I heard Ma knocking around dishes in the kitchen. I knew she was ignoring me and making pancakes anyway. I got up from the table and went into the kitchen. If she was going to the trouble of making me pancakes I could help.

Ma and I made pancakes before she went up to shower. Mom was coming downstairs when I sat down at the table to eat. I ate one pancake before pushing my plate away. Mom got some coffee and then sat down at the table.

"Excited about your first day of school?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Kinda nervous… Not sure why but I am." Mom nodded and ate a pancake.

"I'm sure your gonna be fine. You are a great kid and no one should have a problem with you." I nodded my head and picked at the pancakes left on my plate. Ma came back downstairs dressed for work.

"You girls ready to head to the school. We have to get their early to fill out papers." Mom and I both nodded. I went over and slipped my shoes on before grabbing my bag and hoodie. Ma followed Mom and I out of the apartment.

We pulled up in front of the school and I just stared up at it. Ma got out and opened my door. She reached her hand in and I took it. She pulled me out of the car. I grabbed my stuff and walked between the two as we went inside. We went to the office and the principal invited us into her office.

"Hello, you must be the Benson-Cabot's. I'm Principal Quinn," the principal said.

"Uhm, actually, Chayse is the only Benson-Cabot. I'm Detective Olivia Benson and this is my partner ADA Alexandra Cabot." The mom's shook hands with the principal before she invited us all to sit down.

"So, you two both adopted Chayse but are not married?" Ma nodded her head. I stared down at my hands. The jitters were getting worse. It was going to be a long day.

"Yes, Chayse was my Goddaughter. After her mother passed she came to live with me and we both moved in with Alex. We both loved her so much that we both adopted her. Now she is our daughter. That's why we hyphenated her last name." The principal nodded.

"Well, isn't that wonderful! So Chayse, are you excited about starting a new school?" I was so deep in thought I didn't even hear the principal. Ma nudged me and I jumped.

"Huh? What?" I looked around and both moms' were half glaring at me. The principal was just watching me.

"I asked, if you were excited about starting a new school?" I nodded my head and smiled at the principal.

"Yes ma'am, very excited." The principal smiled at me and then went through the papers Ma and Mom needed to fill out. I just sat back not really paying attention. My schedule had been set up based off my previous one from the school I'd been at for two weeks.

Once the moms' had filled everything out, I was sent off to class. Ma gave me a hug and kissed my forehead before Mom took her turn. They left and the principal led me to my locker. She showed me around to all my rooms because it was still before school started. Then she went back to her office and I went to my locker to drop off my bag.

I pulled out my schedule and a notebook that Ma had picked up for me before walking towards my first class. I was almost there when someone stepped into my path. I was concentrating so hard on my schedule I ran right into them.

"Oh, excuse me, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there," I said. I looked up to see a cute boy standing in front of me.

"No, it was my fault completely. I didn't mean to get in your way. Names James, you are?" James held out my notebook that I had dropped.

"Chayse, Chayse Benson-Cabot." James nodded.

"So, uhm, was that your mother and aunt leaving earlier?" I looked at James confused.

"My mother and aunt? Those were both my mother… I assume you're talking about the brunette and blonde that left the principal's office less than 20 minutes ago." James nodded his head.

"You have two mothers… So does that make you a dyke too? Or just a freak because you have two mommies?" I glared up at James. All his cuteness had just disappeared.

"No, I like guys… I am also not a freak." James stepped closer to me and I stepped back.

"Well, then you would want someone like me to kiss you, right?" James kept getting closer but I pushed him away.

"No, I would prefer if you'd move out of my way so I could go to class." James blocked my path and two of his friends surrounded me.

"I think that you should prove to me that you really like dudes. How about you and me in my van after school?" I pushed James back again after he moved closer.

"No, how about you out of my way before I tell the principal that you're harassing me?" James pushed me back towards one of his friends and he pinned me to him. I tried to pull away but the guy wouldn't let go.

"I'm gonna ask you again… You like guys, right? I want you to prove to me that you like guys and aren't some freak like your mothers." James was right in my face and I tried to push him away but he wouldn't budge.

"How about you get away from me before I make you sorry?" James pushed me into his friend and I could feel the pain all the way through my body. I was getting really sick of this. I could hear other students walk around but no one did anything. I spit towards James because I was tired of talking. James punched me and I could instantly feel my eye begin to swell.

"You listen here, Bitch. I will tell you if you will be with me or not! I will also tell you when I'll leave you alone!" I was getting really mad so I did the only thing I could think of. I kicked him!

James went down quicker than Elliot had. All his friends backed away. I just stood there until I saw the principal standing in the hall with her arms crossed.

"Chayse, my office now!" I followed the principal to her office. I was in for it now. I sat down across from her and rubbed my eye.

"Chayse, I hate to inform you but we have a zero tolerance policy for violence. I'm afraid I have to expel you from school. I really do wish that we could give you a second chance but with such a vulgar act. I cannot turn my back." I looked up at the principal shocked.

"But he! He threatened me and called me a bitch and wouldn't let me walk away. He called me a freak and a dyke! He hit me first!" The principal wasn't paying attention she was busy dialing her phone. I knew she was calling Ma and I was going to be in trouble. They wouldn't have even made it to work yet.

The principal was quick on the phone. I could tell from hearing Ma's voice through the phone that she was pissed. Tears streaked down my cheeks and I tried to wipe them away. I was defending myself and the principal didn't believe me. The story the principal had just told Ma was not what had happened. Now I was going to have to convince her that it wasn't true.

"You can wait in the main office until your mothers get here… I am very sorry that you couldn't fit in with our student body. I know your family is different but we try to accept all kinds." I stood up and walked out. I sat in the main office until the moms' got there.

I dug the palms of my hands into my eyes. I pulled the one had away because it hurt too much to push on my eye. I was trying not to cry but this was bullshit. I sat there but looked up when I heard the office door open. I stood up but Ma gave me a look that said to sit back down. She walked passed me into the principal's office. I sat back down and stared at the ground. I was in deep shit.

Ma came back out and stood next to me. I stood up and slung my bag over my shoulder. Ma pointed towards the exit and I began walking that way. We walked outside and I stopped walking. Ma stopped ahead of me and turned around.

"I didn't do what she said… I mean I did kick him but not for the reason you think." I was fighting to hold back tears. Ma just stared at me.

"Come on, I'm already late for work… We'll discuss this later." I walked passed Ma and got in the car. I couldn't tell if she blamed me or not. Mom was sitting in the front seat of the car she watched me get in the back but didn't say anything.

I buckled my belt and stared out the window. I was so mad that the principal lied. I was most upset that the Ma didn't believe me. I had no reason to be lying to her. I didn't do anything wrong. I just watched as Ma drove into the city. We got to the precinct and everyone headed inside.

We all walked into the squad room and everyone looked at us. I quickly walked passed them to the cribs. I was really having a hard time fighting off crying. When I got upstairs I went towards the locker room. Once I was where no one could see me I headed for the back door that led to the roof. I needed some air and time to think.

Liv's POV

I sat down at my desk and rested my head in my hands. I couldn't believe Chayse had gotten expelled within 10 minutes of us leaving the school. I didn't know what she was thinking but I was bound and determined to find out. She claims she didn't do it and part of me believes her but why would the principal lie.

Alex hadn't said much since we'd had to go back to the school. I couldn't tell if she was mad either. She was leaning on my desk with her arms crossed. She was staring up towards the cribs.

"I have court… We can discuss her punishment when we get home." Alex walked out of the squad room and I could tell she was mad. Elliot was staring at me after Alex left.

"What?" Elliot looked towards the cribs and where Alex walked out before looking at me.

"Mind explaining what that was all about. Also why does Chayse have a black eye?" I looked at Elliot confused. Did Chayse have a black eye and I just hadn't noticed.

"Chayse got expelled from school for kicking some kid in the privates. She was only there…" I held up a finger and reached for my phone that was ringing.

"Benson," I answered. Alex was freaking out on the other end. She was yelling about getting up to the roof and Chayse sitting on the ledge. I dropped my phone and took off upstairs. What was she doing?

I ran up the stairs and through the roof door. My heart was pounding. I had to get to Chayse before she did anything.

Chayse's POV

I was sitting on the roof ledge. I wasn't going to jump just like the feeling of being on the edge. Mom was standing below watching me sit there. She was on the phone so I knew Ma was on her way up. I was right, the door swung open but I didn't look back.

"I'm not going to jump… I'm just thinking." Ma walked over slowly I could hear every step she took. Eventually her arms wrapped around my waist. I winced as her hand hit where James had pushed me. There was going to be a bruise there.

"You scared us. Why are you sitting on the ledge?" Ma rested her chin on my shoulder as we both stared out at the city.

"I like the thrill… Ma, I really didn't…" Ma covered my mouth to stop me from talking.

"How did you get the black eye? Did the kid you kicked hit you?" I shrugged my shoulders but didn't answer. I stared down towards Mom, she was still standing below. Watching us.

"Does it matter? I'm still in deep trouble. I got expelled from school after only being there for 20 minutes… I wouldn't have kicked him but he wouldn't leave me alone. He just kept getting closer and closer to me… He called me a bitch, a freak and a dyke. All because he saw you and Mom leaving together. He told me that if I really did like guys then I had to prove it to him…I flashed back to when Jonathon and the others used to manhandle me. I freaked… The principal walked up just as I kicked him. Then she wouldn't listen to my side of the story… I'm really sorry I screwed up." I looked back out at the city and wiped a tear from my eye. I glanced down and Mom was gone. She must have left to go to the courthouse. She was probably still mad at me for what happened at school.

"It's not your fault… I'm sorry I didn't listen to you before. I'm sorry that Alex and I put you in this situation… I'm sorry the principal and students at that school were so dense they didn't see what a wonderful person you were before judging you." Ma wrapped her arms tighter around my waist.

"Me too… I don't blame you for the way I was treated either. I love having both you and Mom in my life. I wouldn't trade having either of you for fitting in at school." Ma and I both looked over at Mom standing in the doorway. I kicked my legs back over the ledge and hopped down. I walked over to Mom and hugged her. I buried my face in her shoulder and she just hugged me. I gave up on trying not to cry. Ma came over and laid her hand on my back. I pulled away from Mom and stood between them.

"Now what?" I asked as I wiped my face with my sleeve.

"Now, we get some ice on that eye of yours and you chill with me for the day," Ma said. Mom and I nodded as we all headed back in the building.

Mom left for court, but not before apologizing and hugging me again. I hugged her and wished her luck in court. Elliot had met us by the cribs with a bag of ice. We all sat in the squad room. The squad was having a slow day and just doing paperwork so I was able to chill with them.

"You know Ma; I was thinking maybe one of those online schools would be cool. I could finish my high school degree online and maybe even take some college courses. A counselor in California was telling me about them." Ma looked over at me and didn't look convinced.

"You would miss out on so much not being in a real school. What about school dances and being part of after school clubs. Or sports! You can't play school sports if you're in a school online." I rolled my eyes and spun around in my chair.

"Yea, I'd also miss out on being bullied at school. Or feeling like an idiot when I do a math problem wrong in front of the class. Or being harassed because I have two mothers. Yea, really gonna miss that… Besides I can play sports for a private league. Just think about it, please?" Elliot chuckled from his desk and Ma just glared at him.

"Okay, we can discuss it more when we get home." I nodded my head and went back to counting ceiling tiles. I was super bored but had nothing to do. I'd left my IPod at home because Ma said I couldn't take it to school. I started to spin in the chair but Elliot stopped me.

"Come on Mike, I'll buy you and your Ma some lunch," Elliot said.

"Who's Mike?" I asked as I stood up and followed Elliot and Ma to the door.

"Mike Tyson." Ma and I shook our heads at his lame joke and headed out to the car. Elliot took us to the Chinese joint that we like. Ma and I split some Mongolian Beef and Elliot got General Tsoa chicken. Elliot got some crab ragoons for us all to split. Lunch was fun. It's nice to just hang out with Elliot and Ma. We'd had a sports day with the Stabler clan and had a blast. Elliot was bitter because I kicked his butt in most sports and swore on revenge.

When we got back to the precinct I headed up to the cribs for a nap. Since I'd gotten up early I was super tired. Ma came up and got me when she was ready to leave for the day. We went outside and Mom was waiting for us. I climbed into the back of the car and Ma took the passenger's seat. Today had started out bad but ended up being okay. I went from being nervous, to angry, to sad, to happy. I was now with my two favorite people and we were going to have a good evening. Hopefully, we'd get the school thing resolved.


End file.
